Ice-cold
by Latvias Little Lamb
Summary: Russia just can't handle the insults any longer. When he's on the verge of dying, will someone rescue him?


A little fanfiction dedicated to my OTP RoChu :3

It was a cold night. Oh, who am I kidding, it's always cold here. Okay, new start.

The night was cold, again. The temperature was already below the freezing point, slowly ripping out the warmth of my body. The cold is ruthless, it had no mercy with anyone. I was walking through the snow, slowly and careful. You know, it's easy to slip on the frozen ground. I learned that the hard way, back when I was a kid. Anyways, no time for bittersweet memories. I was already walking for what seemed like an eternity, exhausted and tired. My hands were numb, my teeth shaking. My steps became slower with everyone I took. I totally lost my sense of direction, everything was white and foggy. How I got into this miserable situation you may ask? Let me tell you.

It all started yesterday morning. I was getting ready for the world meeting, which was taking place in Austria this time. As you know, the location always changes, depending on our moods. So I had to fly to Austria. That actually isn't a bad place. I definitely like it more than the crowdy America, or hot Spain. After my flight landed, I started making my way through Schwechat, and then through Vienna. To be honest, I came a little earlier so I could stop in a little Konditorei. Austrian sweets are really delicious, you gotta try them! Anyways, after a flew glances at the Hundertwasser Building, which was near the meeting, I finally arrived. As always I was a little early, just because I don't like being late. It draws more attention on me than I get anyway. So I sat down on my place, silent, and with a smile on my face. Maybe they like me more, if I smile. I seem to have a bad reputation, and I definitely don't want it to get any worse. I started getting out my notes, which I have prepared the evening before. A few other countries were already present as well, like Germany, England, Hong Kong, Spain and Austria of course. Not the worst case, because they are not the ones who tease me. They're simply not giving me any attention, which I quite liked, so I continued looking at the sheets in front of me. With the time, more nations began to fill the room, until everyone was there. After a certain american nation entered, the teasing began. "Ohhh, look at the giant lonely loser. He's so weird, no one wants to talk to him, as always." "What a big ugly nose, what about cutting it off?" "If you just stopped existing, the world would be a better place." As always, I fought back tears. Every insult pierced into my heart, every single one. And I could hear them basically on a daily basis. On the streets, in meetings, heck, sometimes even at home! How that's possible, you question? Well, as you maybe know, the Baltics are living in my place. I really like them, though they don't seem to think the same about me. They're not mean, no, but they always keep their distance. The insults are not coming from them. Lithuania tends to phone America and Poland a lot, and they're talking pretty loud. I think you can imagine the rest. Now, that you know a little about my life, you are probably asking yourself how I got this bad reputation. Well, to be honest, I don't even know myself. But I'll just start explaining the reasons I assume. First of all, I'm Russia. If that isn't reason enough, I'll tell you the second one. I've had a lot of cruel, horrible leaders in my country. If you know just a little about my history, you've probably heard about Stalin, Rasputin, and all those dictators who made life hard for my dear citizens. How I could let that happen? You may wouldn't assume that, but I, unlike many other countries, have no right to decide who'll lead my country. I was forced to watch them destroy not only my country, but also it's reputation. They also made me do horrible things, to me as well as to others. They are above me, they basically own me. I can remember when I was forced to stop a truck with my bare hands, just before a world meeting. You can't imagine how that hurt. I was crying, screaming and begging for it to be over. When it finally was, my hands were basically destroyed, and my coat full of blood. I knew I had to attend a meeting in just an hour, so I put on my gloves, so you couldn't see my wrecked hands. I wasn't able to clean my coat in time, so I had to explain what happened. I put on a smile, to avoid crying again, and so I wouldn't seem scary. That backfired, I guess, because America started insulting me, as always. The whole meeting I couldn't take notes, and I tried holding back tears all the time.

Another time, my leader made me walk on hot iron, just for a funny show - for him. I couldn't walk for the whole weak, and I cried myself to sleep every night.

I hope, at least you aren't scared of me anymore.

Where was I again? Oh yes, the meeting. It was a normal meeting, everyone telling a bit about their countries problems, until it was Americas time. I expected him to talk about aliens and UFO's again, but he looked at me the second he was in front of us all. In an ice cold voice he stared at me and said: "Russia. Russia is my problem and he should just stop existing. Everyone's problems would be gone. Just die, Ivan." My smile dropped, probably for the first time in eternities in front on people. I could barely hold back my tears, but when I heard some cheering voices, I couldn't stay composed and I started sobbing, while storming out of the room. My tears were flowing down my cheeks, and I sobbed my heart out. All the insults were playing in my head again. And I could still hear Alfred's voice, over and over again. I was in a sort of trance, when I booked my flight back to Russia. When I arrived, I immediately run back into my house. The Baltics were watching me strangely, probably because I was crying. I decided that I couldn't bare to watch them watching me, so I ran away. It seemed like the perfect idea in my head. I would be gone, no one would find me, and if I die, my country does as well. Everyone's problems would be... Gone.

So I did it. And now I'm here, lost somewhere in Russia, and nearly freezing to death. I can't endure this any longer, I'm too weak. I admit it, I AM WEAK. I hope you heard that, America, and you can finally celebrate my defeat. I can't walk any longer. I'm already beneath shaking, my limbs are getting numb. It will end soon, I repeat a hundred times. I sit down, embracing the snow. Silently I say good-bye to... Yao. Yes, exactly this Yao, the personification of China. Haven't I mentioned it? Oh, no I didn't. Well, I've been in love with him literally all my life. He was like a splash of color slowly coming into my life. And my thoughts are with him day and night.

Even right now, while I'm on my way to the depths of death, I'm wondering where he is. Will he miss if when I'm gone? Or will he throw a party, like probably everyone else? And even more important... Will he even remember me? As my skin starts to blend in with the snow from the freezing temperatures, I'm starting to get scared. Death... Will it be painful? Will I even remember my life? No no no, I don't want to die, I am so scared! I want to stand up, and carry on moving, but the coldness already defeated me. "No..." My voice breaks while I'm screaming, and I begin to sob. The tears are freezing on my cheeks, my breath is forming little puffy clouds, which are descending in the sky. It will be over soon... All the pain I've endured, all the tears I've released, all the insults destroying my confidence. I am scared as hell, but it probably will be rescue. Maybe death is the even better than life? My thoughts are beginning to swirl, and my actions are slower. Even breathing gets heavier and heavier. I am sinking into the cold of the snow, blending in, and I am mentally saying good bye to my precious Yao. Then everything turns black, and I guess I am dying...

{Person of view: China}

The meeting was supposed to discuss our problems, and maybe find a solution. Never in a million years would I have imagined this to happen. In horror I watched Russia storming out of the room, tears starting to form in his eyes. He looked so fragile, like a touch could have destroyed him. My heart shattered exactly that minute. I could feel my eyes beginning to burn, and I watched the other nations. Some were cheering, and Alfred was sitting there, grinning evilly. I couldn't believe it. I stood up, and with a trembling voice I stated: "How fucking could you Alfred. Don't you see that none of the countries decisions are his fault? You are so cruel and heartless. If I could kill you, I wouldn't waste a second thought on debating. You are a monster." He looked at me, eyes widened, as he probably hadn't expected me to stand up for Ivan. I think I'm pretty good at hiding my crush after all, right? As I glared at him, I gathered my things and I basically stormed out of the room. I needed to find Russia, before stupid things could happen. I screamed his name, but I couldn't spot him. There was only one logical option: He went back to Russia. "Shit." I ran to the airport, as our meeting room wasn't that wide away from there, and I managed to get a private flight to the cold nation. During the flight I was fiddling with my thumbs. My thoughts wouldn't stop imagining horrible situations that could have happened to Russia. I was completely stupid of course, because his flight couldn't already have landed. When I arrived, I drove to his house. There, the Baltic's were looking confused, and little Latvia was shaking. Well, okay, that isn't new, but anyways. "Where is Ivan?" My voice broke while I was voicing his name out aloud. Lithuania took a step forward and told me: "Hello Mister China. He came rushing back just recently. He looked like he was crying, and he ran into his room. Then we watched him dashing out of his house hurriedly." "Fuck, fuck, fuck." I cursed, gave them an apologetic look and dashed off to find my love.

While I was running, I remembered all the reasons why he managed to steal my heart. His soul is so pure. Even though he appears cruel, and crazy sometimes, he is actually just a small boy with a kind, broken soul. How would you react, if you've lived for eternities, if you've seen your friends and family dying, if you get insulted and bullied on a daily basis. I bet you'd go insane too, huh? Every time I hear someone insult him, I analyze his face. Even though his expression doesn't change from the smile he's wearing, I can see the damage the insult causes. His eyes are flickering, and they get glassy as he tries not to cry. His hands start shaking slightly, and his body sinks into itself, as he tries to hide. I notice the little things that show, just how many cruelties he has endured. Then there are his eyes. Those purple oceans, overflowing me with joy everytime I look into them. They are so beautiful, I can get lost in them.

Another special thing about him is his appreciation for small things. I once saw him getting overjoyed over a bird mommy feeding her little babies. He sat in silence, watching her keeping her children alive, with a huge smile on his face.

And if those aren't enough reasons, have you ever looked at Russia? So god damn hot.

I didn't know where I was running anymore, as snow was surrounding me. My feet were tired, I was probably running for a while already. Just when I was about to slow down, I spotted something. Without a second thought I approached the thing, just to realize that it's Ivan. He was lying in the snow, his face even paler than it is anyway, looking... Dead. "No.." I knelt down, and I cradled him in my arms. Shaking, I kissed him in an attempt to make him wake up. He was ice cold, and no reaction followed. "He can't die, no... He won't! ...right?" My thoughts were driving me nuts. I didn't know if nations could die. I never witnessed. Prussia dissolved, but he took the job of western germany, so he didn't die. Then there was Holy Rome... But he is Germany now, isn't he?

I was confused, and even though he was heavier than me, I somehow managed to drag him with me, towards a town. The power of love, I guess? I can't describe how I was able to do that. Have you heard about that mom? She and her child had a car accident, and her son was trapped inside. Out of worry she lifted the car, and saved her child. The power and energy she got probably helped me to, because my desperate concern and my prayers were heard. I got him into a hospital, and I waited. I have always hated waiting, as it simply is torture. After a few hours, a doctor entered my waiting room. "Mister Wang... Are you the one who was bringing Mister Braginsky in here?" "Yes.." My voice was shaking, and my heart was beating way too fast. "He had been lying in the cold for a very long time. His limbs were practically numb, and his whole body was frozen. His heart gave up, the pressure was too much." My heart sank, and tears entered my eyes. "But he still managed to survive. I can't explain it, I have never experienced it before. All of a sudden his pulse was there again. His guardian angels must have done an amazing job. Mr. Braginsky is a fighter. You can see him now, please follow me." I couldn't believe it. I was crying, but out of luck this time, and I ran after the doctor, dashing into the room. There he lied, fragile and small. "Ivan... Oh god, my dear Ivan, please don't ever give up again. I love you, oh my god, I love you so so much. I can't imagine life without you. Dear God, how happy I am to have you." I was sobbing with my eyes closed, when I heard a voice. "Is that you... Yao?" Puffy, wide opened eyes were looking at me, and I threw myself into his arms. "I love you, I love you so much." His eyes widened even more, and he broke out into happy laughter. "I love you too!"


End file.
